Do you feel shy around girls, or maybe it’s just that one you like? Either way, it can be very frustrating not to know how to talk to women if you are shy.
You would like to ask her out, or maybe just make that first move to start the conversation. But you just can’t come up with something interesting to say to make her like you.
You dream of her as your girlfriend, but the idea of accomplishing that seems just so unrealistic. You don’t even know where to start when approaching a girl.
In this article, I’m going to reveal you a couple of simple moves to start overcoming your shyness approaching women and talking to girls you find attractive.
Speaking to a girl of your dreams can feel like impossible right now, but this is a very common problem among shy guys and it’s nothing to be worried about. Once you understand the exact steps to you need to take, it becomes easy and straightforward to talk to women and feel comfortable doing so.
So why am I shy around girls?
Let’s begin with the underlying problem here, why am I feeling so shy around girls I like?
It often comes down to you feeling some way inferior to them. Like you would be lower status or less worthy than they are.
Have you ever noticed how you don’t feel as shy around girls who you aren’t as attracted to?
It’s because they don’t have the looks and beauty that usually makes you so intimidated.
How can you act confident around girls?
You first have to overcome inferiority, so you can act naturally confident around the girls you like.
One approach is to find out what is making you feel that way and fix it.
If you are overweight, start exercising. Just the fact you are making progress fixing the issue will make you feel better about it, and lead to more confidence.
If you hate the clothes you wear, get some new ones to get a brand new look. You’d be surprised how much confidence it can give you.
Find a safe environment to practice your social skills
If you think you are a loner with no friends, learn how to meet new people more often.
You could find a meetup group around a hobby or passion you already have. Making a conversation around topics you really like can make it less intimidating and you soon realize it actually feels good to be able to talk to new people with who share same values and passions.
Where to meet new people?
- Find a meet-up group. If you live in or nearby a big city, there is probably a lot of meetups around topics you love, this could be a book club or Best way to find meetups is meetup.com, it’s free to use and they also have a great app to use on your smartphone. Make a small commitment to attend for example one meetup each week or month and stick to it.
- Go to your work or school socials. Whether you are working or studying, there are probably a lot of opportunities to go out with your colleagues and fellow students. Most shy people tend to avoid these, but this is the easiest way to go out and socialize with people you already know.
- Join online communities. If a thought of going out with people in real life is way too scary for you at this moment, or simply not possible because you live in a remote area, start widening your circle by joining online groups and communities. There is a virtually unlimited supply of different groups on Facebook alone. Just search something around topics you like and join them. Start contributing to the conversation with small comments and be active, you could easily find like-minded people that could become your friends.
Just meeting new people frequently will make you feel less lonely. After all, it’s you who thinks you are a loner, not the others even you might think so.
Try to find a group with mixed gender, so you can put yourself around women without feeling too much pressure. This way you can slowly get used to it in a safe group setting and stop being shy around women altogether.
Meeting new people in this kind of social environment is a natural way to move towards not being shy, as it provides a safe way to get valuable hands-on practice on social skills and behavior, like working on your body language and making an eye contact with others, maybe even with an attractive girl.
How about the things you can’t change?
What if you were just born shorter than everyone else, or have some other feature that sticks out, but what you can’t do anything about to fix?
In these cases, I would suggest you just do whatever you can to make it less bothersome to yourself and just learn to live with your appearance as it is and learn to accept it.
Everyone has their flaws, even the most successful and attractive people.
And do you know what? Girls aren’t looking for the flawlessly perfect guy anyway because such thing does not exist.
I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but girls pay far less attention to a man’s looks than to his personality.
In my experience, this is true.
Sure, there are some girls who only after hot looking guys, but this is the minority, and would you like to be with a someone like that anyway?
Work on your self and the rest will follow
You’ll find that most girls will look past the physical shortcomings you have if you can just come out as a confident and make them laugh.
Instead of trying to make your appearance perfect, work on improving your social skills and personal life. Girls are attracted to guys who have things going on in their lives.
The more you talk to girls, the less shy you will become. As you talk to more and more girls, it’s almost inevitable that you will find a girl you have chemistry with.