For some people, building self-confidence in personal relationships can be very challenging.
Especially if you are naturally shy or anxious person.
You may find that you have confidence other areas of your life, like work, talents, and so on – but lack the self-confidence when it comes to building successful personal relationships.
For some of us, this is due to past experiences – once bitten, twice shy, and so on.
Others just seem to be wired that way. Not everyone can naturally become the social butterfly they wish they could be.
If any of this describes you, keep reading for some tips and suggestions that may help you build up your confidence.
Recognize You are Not Alone
Pretending like you don’t have a problem is not going to help.
You’d be surprised at how many people who seem naturally born confident have worked hard and put effort into learning how to be self-confident in their relationships.
The growing number of confidence coaches and life coaches just proves that there are in fact a lot of people in need of self-confidence.
Get a confidence coach
So why not hire a confidence or life coach?
They specialize in helping people realize their potential, both professionally and personally.
Even better, maybe you have a friend that has the kind of confidence you wish you had.
Remember, there’s no shame in seeking advice, whether from a friend or a professional.
Or try an online course
Not everyone can afford a coach, so if you are on a budget investing into an online course is a good option. Just make sure you have the motivation to actually put in the work required. Simply watching or reading through the material won’t help you in building self-confidence.
We’ve recommended some good courses on our previous blog post about lack of self-confidence.
Your Contribution Matters
Do you feel insecure when thinking of your relationships or starting one?
Always remember that you have something to give to that relationship, even if you don’t realize it yourself.
Lack of self-confidence may stem from a sense that relationships are only about you trying to please the other person, or getting them to like you.
However, it’s important to realize that you have something to contribute to the relationship which will benefit the other person – you!
Nobody is perfect
Both you and the person you are in a relationship have flaws.
Everyone does, even the most confident and successful people have them.
The only difference is that people who lack self-confidence in relationships tend to walk on eggshells, being afraid they will say or do something that will turn the other person against them.
But if you think about it, someone who genuinely likes or loves you is not going to ditch you just because you made one mistake or said one off-color thing.
And if they do, is that a friend worth having?
Silence your Negative Inner Voice
To silence your negative voice, you first have to learn to recognize it.
Pay attention to your inner voice for a few days. What’s it saying?
You might hear:
“No one would ever put up with you.”
“You’re not good enough,”
“I can’t go over and just talk to him/her?”
When you begin to hear these thoughts, it’s time to take action and start changing them.
Such negative self-talk is often a habit and you don’t even realize you’re doing it.
To change that, you have to forge new habits of positive self-talk instead.
Remember that you have something to contribute to a relationship and the right person will be glad to have you in his or her life.
For more tips on building self-confidence, make sure to read our blog post of 30 Easy Techniques to Boost Your Self-Confidence.