Do you want
One of the biggest mistakes I see shy people make is letting their own emotions take control. Nearly all shy people make this fundamental mistake.
- You avoid social interactions or people who make you feel shy
- You avoid public speaking or a social situation because it makes you feel anxious
- You don’t do something just because it makes you feel nervous or afraid
To overcome social anxiety or shyness you have to face your fears
I hate to repeat myself, but to get over your shyness, you have to become less controlled by your emotions.
Simply put, there is no way around it.
However, this doesn’t mean to suppress your emotions, but to act in spite of them. This is true to anything you want to overcome, not just shyness or anxiety.
Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it.Mark Twain
That is the ability you need to build if you want to overcome your shyness. You have to have the ability to act in spite of feeling a particular emotion.
It means that if you feel afraid to do something, you do it anyway. Act in spite of fear.
- If you raise your hand in class even though it makes you nervous, you are acting in spite of fear.
- If you talk to people even though they make you feel shy, then you’re no longer being controlled by your emotions.
- If you talk to groups and make public presentations, then you are the one in charge now, not your fear.
Slowly build up your self-confidence
Once you start acting in spite of fear, you will become more relaxed and easygoing in situations which used to make you nervous and shy.
You will start to feel more confident as you take small steps to improve your social skills.
This can be talking to strangers and practicing small talk or something simple like making eye contact.
Many who suffering from social anxiety disorder avoid these things and simply practicing them will make a huge difference. If staring at strangers is too much, start with family members first.
Pay attention to your body language, and practice using your whole body when you communicate.
Read our blog post with 30
When you stop avoiding your fears, you allow your mind to desensitize to them. In psychology, this is also called habituation.
This approach is very common for therapists to use on someone with social anxiety. In cognitive-behavioral therapy, the “behavioral” part is acting in spite of fear. Of course, many shy people can’t or are not able to simply “face their fears.”
For this reason, changes to your thinking necessary if you are trying to get over shyness over the long term. That’s the cognitive part of cognitive-behavioral therapy.
Where can I get help with social anxiety or shyness?
If you want to learn proven strategies and techniques for overcoming shyness that goes far beyond “face your fears” and “what’s the worst that can happen “, then you should really check out Sean Cooper’s shyness and social anxiety system.
Sean has overcome severe social anxiety himself and has now dedicated his life to helping others do the same.